Apna Anokha Fasana

Apna Anokha Fasana is the autobiography of my father Late Dwarika Nath Srivastava’Dwarkesh’ This is a bouquet of emotional spontaneity,fragrant with heart felt purity.He has composed his autobiography in a long poem, an epic to be precise. Born at Pratapgarh.U.P.;as the second son of Late Vishnu Swaroop and Late Smt.Hari Devi, who lovingly used to call him’ Deputy’; He had a happy childhood and had good rapport with his elder brother Late Bishambhar Nath Srivastava ‘Mister’.

He passed Matriculation and Intermediate examinations from Pratapgarh and then moved to nearby Allahabad University for further studies, and obtained Graduation and Post Graduation Degrees from there;and also passed Bachelor of Law (L.L.B.)

He had always been an outstanding student and secured first class throughout.

He began his career as an auditor in A.G.U.P. Allahabad then went on working as an U.D.A.in U.P.. Secretariat Lucknow and then joined Transport Department as P.T.S.Later he was promoted to the post of P.T.O.and became senior most in his cadre.
He was a very loving and caring human being ,deeply attached with his mother.A thorough gentleman and committed family person .Very humble and polite, a man of few words that too genteel and soft .
Some how he never felt comfortable in service as his aptitude towards literary and academic streams made him a man of finer sensibilities which when clashed with the gross injustices done to his innocence and easy going nature by the crude ,insensitive and exploitative patterns of government jobs . He felt hurt when his rightful genuine positions were denied to him by crafty and wicked people of his department .He found solace in writing poems and doing paintings,He penned some fabulous couplets and also bhajans .He was a simple man with inqusitive passion for knowledge.He was fond of Urdu,English and Hindi.He loved reading and writing,writing essays and stories and a passion for General Knowledge enriched his vision of life.His favourite singers were Kishore Kumar,Hemant Kumar,Talat Mehmood and Mukesh whose songs he used to enjoy and sing .His passion for European History and Urdu Shayeri,and also Tennis and Cricket in which he loved G.R.Vishwanath,Sunil Gavaskar,K Srikanth and Kapil Dev .A staunch movie buff,he loved movies and music particularly he adored acting of Ashok Kumar,Pradeep Kumar,Uttam Kumar,Sanjeev Kumar,Sunil Dutt and Amitabh .

A lover of Urdu and English languages,he composed excellent songs,bhajans and poems.A talented singer and keen improviser,he had always been.He had a flair for photography and always remained a man of good taste with aesthetic sense.He always remained a well dressed person with style.He loved wearing Charagh Din(C.D.)brand of shirts.He was stylish and always dressed meticulously.
This is his autobiography and a collection of some other works which he wrote to express his affection and love to people who mattered to him . His wife Bela whom he used to call "Shakti",his six children,Anand,Kaivalya,Aparna,Shilpi,Milind and Ekta;close friends and some other persons who offered a helping hand to him in his turbulent times,all have been mentioned with nostalgic feelings. He wanted to show his gratitude towards his well wishers,who stood with him during his most testing times.He was an admirer of human virtues and noble heart.In his course of life,he lived in different cities,so these writings were composed in various towns and at various times.Pratapgarh,Lucknow,Varanasi,Ayodhya,Allahabad,Rai Bareli,Banda,Gorakhpur,Kanpur,Sitapur and Jhansi,he wrote and also painted his paintings in some of these places.A strong undercurrent of emotions coupled with heartfelt observations of life and people around him makes this account true and soaked in his love for family and friends .
He belonged to the club of intellectual aristocracy and by temperament ,he was ,an observer,a collector of human curiosities .

A Letter To My Children

My Dear Children,

This is my hopeful desire that you all will make head ways

in your lives in your own ways.You are all sincere and responsible,dutiful and purposeful.My children, I know, I have no flags to leave for you to fly after me,but Providence will carve out suitable avenues for you to tread and reach the pinnacle of success and glory as would be anyone’s wish for you.For my part ,I feel you can easily move on and on; ultimately to shine on the horizon of life.You have the acumen which millions do not have.You can have miracles wrought much to the amazement of many around you .My children,you do not bother,do not falter,do not hesitate.Instead have confidence in yourselves.You are my offsprings,the prodigy of a man who has lived life in his own way without bothering for any one around.
I know,I have never been so sincere, or for that matter,so genuinely aspiring for any remarkable achievement in life;although I kept always dreaming to achieve something miraculous and spectacular,yet my dearest ones, I can assure you, I have been just very sensitive about that;but lethargy has been my weakest point.It led me in course of years,to a station which is most unsuited to my personality and my tastes.
My dear children,you are my most coveted treasure to bank upon.Your mother (my dearest spouse),is very bold,active and courageous lady whom I must think,you must be proud of because such ladies or mothers are really very rare to locate.
She is my dearest and costliest possession.I am proud of her.By and large she has developed the capability of holding the part together under any circumstances, whatever.I therefore in perfect humility call upon you all to stand by her and act upon her counsels which alone would serve you as a master guide on your path to success.
I have done what ,that I could for you,may be it is not upto the mark according to my own estimation, but looking the other way round,it is certainly an achievement considering the position which I sprang up from.My beloved parents had a very ordinary beginning in indeed;but they had been very caring,particularly my respected Babujee.I feel,I knew his mind,realized what he felt and what he wished to get in life.He had been a simple man of a God approaching nature, miles away from the crafty ways of the society of his times.He has been an ideal for me to follow. And as for my beloved mother, I have no words to describe her. Her sense of dutifulness and of service to all that had a time to reach for her blessings were really a unique experience to us. Even during her hours of illness, she attended to her duties without any feelings of hesitation or distress. It was she who gave us the quality to love others, inspite of any personal preoccupations. She was such an ideal for us that the life of which I have yet to come by.

I know this is my first time that I have been made to stay away from you all but I always feel,you are with me, and I am with you.
My children,your progress in life is my only dream and I know you will not betray me.I have always had the dream that you will achieve in life,what I wished to but could not get. Agreed,I was not very sincere about it but I had the desire and the ability to achieve it. I am sure about it .But you , I hope,I have given everything out at stake, everything needed everything required for making a head way and a solid start. Now, therefore my children, it has come upon you as a sacred duty to achieve what your father just somehow failed to do.
If I just peep into a period of my 50 years of life so far,I get only faltered, because of my lethargy and not for anything else. There was sincerity all right, but no determination, no perseverance, no convictions, no confidence and of course no coaxing at all. I could have made any grade given of course, the most needed direction. I blame; but only myself for, I could have done it with a little more effort. So ,my kids, I call upon you, I exhort you to come up and to do some thing which adds to the name of that one man, that father of mine, that Babu Vishnu Swarup, who had all the dreams in his eyes, but who could not eventually visualize what he intended to fulfill or for that matter, what I, for myself ever aspired to achieve.
My dear children, my sons and daughters, you owe me a grave responsibility, a very heavy one to bear, you have to accomplish what I failed to do despite my aspirations to do so.
My children, you all have the acumen to make any new stride in life, or to reach a milestone of note.
Although, i know I shall not leave any thing extraordinary for you to bank upon ,but my dear children, I shall certainly bequeath for you a legacy of lofty ideas and of unbiased sacred values. And upon that you can build up your edifice as high as you wish to do.
My philosophy in life has been to avoid confrontation although that way ,I had sometimes to deal with situations ,In which it was not very safe or solid,but I always found myself wanting as far as the tact to manipulate matters to achieve success was concerned. On that account my heart aches with repentence but to no avail. I can not now at this stage, make any amends to what I have already done. But I can assure you ,all that I have been able to achieve so far despite my fragility,is all due to your Mummy’s courage and boldness, her sagacity and wisdom, her tact and approach. There can not be any two opinions about her unique qualities. She is a gem among women, a remarkably unique being. She has been an asset in my life. Without her , all that you find, would never have been at all .
She is so nice to me even though I deserve nothing at all. Nothing to hide.
I wished so many things to achieve but something was lacking in me, and that something is so obvious to all by now. Lack of determination, lack of conviction, lack of self confidence. And all this combined together , marred my career, or else ,I would have given you all a present and also a future which would have been a matter of envy to all that matter.

This letter was written by my father Late Dwarika Nath Srivastava'Dwarkesh'.It was written during his posting as P.T.O.Jhansi,where he was made to stay alone as the family had been settled at Allahabad.He was an emotional and sensitive person,who felt deeply hurt by being away from family.He was a family man so felt very lonely and this letter is just a testimony of his concern towards his children. I wanted to share it with my friends.It is an emotional letter which inspires the children to rise,shine and glorify in life.It is a moral booster to carve out a niche for ourselves in times to come.

An Ode To My Mother

" So long as moon and sun shine ,
stars glitter and waters flow ,
and nature does her music play ,
her beauteous forms smile and grow .
So long as birds their sonnet sing ,
and winds in all directions blow ,
their lyrical lore they hum and ring ,
across the hills so high and low .
Till then your noble soul would say ,
your message of peace and virtue prime ,
of human kindness ,truth fulness ,
of austerity and bliss sublime .
You have left us exalted with ,
values so sacred ,lofty ,great ,
your piety and your godliness ,

your glory no one could truncate .
Your heart as ocean full of love ,
with sense of service overflew ,
your elegance and magnamity ,
would lead us kindly light through .
O,Ma ,O,My great mother ,
be kind to us and merciful ,
bestow unflinching will power ,
solid conviction firm courage ,
endurance and perseverence .
O,Ma , guide and lead us through ,
this voyage murky, cumbersome ,
for years to come ,for years to come . "

This ode had been written by my father Late Dwarika Nath Srivastava"Dwarkesh',in fond memory of My grand mother Late Hari Devi.It is an emotional tribute to her.I wanted to share it with my friends.

The Song I Sing

I sing a song,

a song that tampers

far too long.

I sing of God,

His wonders prime.

His Godliness,

His bliss sublime.

I sing of Nature’s

Countless forms,

Pristine beauty;

Myriad charms.

Of sun and moon

Of stars I sing,

Of waters too,That sweet so ring.

Their lilting note,

Play birds around.

Enchanting all,

With animating sound.

I sing of love,

That man so bound;

And barrierless

Went all around.

I sing of man,

His heart and soul.

And on this earth

His mystique role.

How once his glory,

Shone in glue;

Unmoved,undaunted

Ages through.

And gone is he

So off his may ,

With every night,

And every day.

That having lost

His base, he hangs,

In disbalance,

And pain he pangs.

In between earth,

So down below,

And heavens up

That lofty so.

With science and wisdom,

Wealth and brain.

But wishful thinking,

Lost in vain.

He totters wingless,

Bidding to sail,

With failing nerves,

And powers pale.

But man has faltered,

Of his tune,

Finding himself

So immune.

He lost his virtue,

And his grace.

That flew so rapid,

Of his face.

He reals in vice.

And dwells in sin.

Yet race of life;

He hopes to Win.

This song had been

written by my father

Late Dwarika Nath Srivastava

"Dwarkesh."

This song celebrates

the spirit of life.It

provides inspiration

and solace.A noble

insight to make life

more meaningful.I

wanted to share it

with my friends.

The Tears of Mumbai.

Mumbai,the city of hope,the city of rich,vibrant and colourful cultural heritage,the city of artists, writers and luminaries from all around life;the city of success,the city of

desire,the city of dreams,the city of sky high ambitions,the city of Bollywood,the city of Sunil Gavaskar,the city of ever on the move life line,the city full of hustle and bustle,the city of show buissness,glamour and glitz,the city always bubbling with life,the city which never sleeps ,which never stops,the financial capital of India,the city of sky scrappers;all such metaphors are true for Mumbai as; for most of Indians, a visit to Mumbai is cherished one.

But sometimes this city weeps and laments.It’s heart bleeds and aches.It mourns and feels anguish,pain and helplessness.

Yes this city wept when in 1993 serial bomb blasts shattered the ever moving life line of this great city.It wept when communal,riots took place here.It wept when bomb blasts rocked the local trains.It wept when people were beaten up on the basis of being North Indians.It wept when children living in slums were termed as slumdogs;It wept when media persons were beaten up by so called political activists.It wept when young boys and girls were assaulted and humiliated at Valentine’s Day and on new year eve,by so called custodians of values and culture.It wept on 26-11-08.The terrorist attacked on the spirit and fabric of Mumbai.When C.S.T.,Nariman House and Leopold Café were attacked.It bled when Taj and Trident hotels were attacked and in all of this macabre drama,innocent men,women and children were killed in cold blood by terrorists.Yes; Mumbai wept.

Mumbai wept when it’s brave cops laid down their life for the sake of their mother land.All Indians did and do and shall ever salute the martyrdom of Hemant Karkare,Ashok Kampte, Vijay Salaskar Major Unnikrishnan and many more daring cops who made supreme sacrifice for duty..They are heroes of our Nation.

The saddest and tragic part is that the same politician,the then state home minister;who was sacked after 26-11-08,is back in less than a year in office.The then chief minister of the state who visited Taj Hotel after the carnage,with his actor son and director friend,as he was having a family picnic; and was removed from chief minister ship after much hue and cry;was later inducted as a central minister.

The so called custodians of culture were not at all seen at the time when the city was under savage rampage.When there was blood on the streets;when humanity was on the tenterhooks,when general innocent public was being killed.Where were they?The brave commandoes fought bravely to save the people,no politicians were around there,they were just tucked inside their heavily guarded chambers.The so called Public figures were just away from public when public was attacked.What a paradox.What an irony and what a pity?Disgusting.

The city weeps when one of it’s most glorious and illustrious son Sachin Tendulakar is politically attacked for his claim of being an Indian first.

But Mumbai and it’s spirit can never be dampened, it is always soaring high and will always rise higher and higher.The texture of mumbai is pride of country.A big salute to Mumbai and Mumbaikars.They have fought bravely and stood together.The spirit of Mumbai is divine.Three cheers for our beloved city,the pride of India.We love you Mumbai.

Down The Memory Lane 'A Floral Tribute

When i lie back on my couch and retrospect, many forlorn memories flash across the screen of mind.They are very much

like granny's bed time stories about which it seems, sometimes we remember and sometimes we tend to forget.We come across many people but some of them matter to us.They touch our life and make a sound impression on our heart.One day we hear that any of them has departed to his/her Heavenly Abode,and thus we just go on missing that person throughout the life.Only the memories are left to treasure.
For me, my grand parents whom i lovingly used to call Baba /Dada showered their heart on me .Their name was Vishnu Swaroop and Hari Devi.They used to call me Puttan.I was apple of their eyes.Then it was my father Dwarika Nath Srivastava "Dwarkesh".I miss him so much in every stage of life.I used to call him Pitajee.He was my biggest supporter in life and had immense faith in me.He used to bring gifts for me all the time.When i passed Intermediate Examination in July 1981,i asked him to get me a stereo record player,and he bought me one,from Punjab Gramophone House,Aminabad,Lucknow.Then in 1982,he gifted me a Citizen Quartz wrist watch.Once, i remember; he went to Hardoi on official visit and got me a sweater as a gift.For many many years i proudly used to wear his shirts,ties,coats and sweaters.He had been a man of taste.Always well dressed and soft spoken.I am proud to be his son.I lost him unfortunately on 24-11-1989.He was my hero and would always remain so.Pitajee i miss you so much.
Apart from them ,i fondly rememberMr.Shanti Prasad, popularly known as Shanti Babu,a close friend of my Pitajee;They used to sing songs together as both of them vere avid fans of music and songs; Pitajee was fan of Mukesh,Hemant Kumar,Talat Mehmood and Kishore Kumar,whereas Shanti Babu was Mohammad Rafi's devotee. I am happy that he was present on my marriage reception to bless me.Mr.C.P.Saxena of Kathgodam,MrS.C.Saxena,Mr.Lallan Parasad,,Mr.A.P.Mishra'Unmatt Ji', my pitajee's childhood friend from Pratapgarh, and a poet, he wrote "Mati O Mahtari", "Prahri Sawdhan" and many other Awadhi poems,Squadran Leader Vipin Bihari Srivastava,Mr.Raj Kumar Srivastava, who helped our family in our times of need and stood by us,always extended moral and emotional supporet to us,Adawal Auntie, an epitome of affection and motherly love,Mr and Mrs Krishna Mohan Srivastava,Kamla Baijal Auntie; my close friend Salil Baijal's mother who used to talk to me affectionately and sometimes cooked Ghuiyan Ki Sabzi with Desi Ghee Parathas.I miss that taste. Mr and Mrs Mahesh Prasad Srivastava, in whose house i used to live in Banda, when i was mentally and emotionally very upset on unfortunate turn of events in my life after father's death.They treated me with love,though i was a stranger for them.They welcomed me with open arms and treated me with affection and love,i was like a family member for them."Ammajee",was like a mother figure for me.She used to make morning tea for me and she herself used to come to my room and give that glass full of tea to me.Such a noble soul they used to be. Later their eldest son Sharad and myself grew into intimte friends,Dr.(Mrs.)Pramila Srivastava my sister Shilpi's mom in law and an authority on Mathematics as a professor of Maths in Allahabad University,she was a woman much ahead of her times.Her intellect and behaviour was just a class above.my Taujee Mr.Vishambhar Nath Srivastava 'Mister',who affectionately used to call me 'Babu Sahab'.My Younger brother kaivalya was 'Rai Sahab' for him.I remember that in my childhood and teenage years;i used to call him Bhaiya.Mr.D.K.Srivastava,popularly known as my mother's one and only" Daddan Mama", my friend Mr.K.D.Gupta have always been close to my heart as they are alive in my memories.I still feel their affection and love.They were gems among humans,an ornament to my heartfelt emotions.I miss them.
"Bade shauq se zamaana sun raha tha magar,Tumhee so gaye dastan kahte kahte".
Those who live in the heart of others never die.

Literary Values vs Scientific Spirit

We are living in an age of rapidfire scientific advancements . Technological development is making almost miracles to happen.Be it in the industry or in services,information or communication,transport or consumer durables,education or sports everywhere scientific advancement is on the rise,day by day.Technocrats may argue that these developments are essential for making our world a better place to live.Yes;nothing exaggerating about this claim.
Some time it seems that art and humanities have taken a back seat,yielding frontage to science or to some extent to management and financial studies.Internet and computer have made the exposure so easy for all.
But it is also true that science has some limitations and has nothing to do with the moral or spiritual development of man.Creative spirit may be pampered to a limited manner by science but it can not provide inspiration to the crying and suffering humanity.It can beautify the outer surface of life but can not create the gift of vision or insightwhich might afford solace to the sad humanity , which is facing the threat of devastating lethal weapons.The horror of war have left all the peace lovers sleepless.
Science has no role to play in eradicating poverty,unemployment,nuclear waste,exploitation of the poor and helpless and other evils of society.It can not edify the human spirit.
Literature uplifts the soul and fathoms the inner feelings of the heart. All the humanities i.e.literature,fine arts ,music,folklore,fairy tales,granny bed time stories,painting
sculpture have soothing and healing impact on vageries of day to day life.It enriches our emotional and aesthetic prowess.Even Blogging has come as an effective means of present day literary trend,which is increasingly popular.
Literature involves us most in life and enables us to experience depths and heights, intensifies and complexities to experience which would otherwise have been beyond us.

Literary values,combined with scientific temper are needed for everlasting welfare of human mind,soul and heart.It is the call of hour.