Apna Anokha Fasana

Apna Anokha Fasana is the autobiography of my father Late Dwarika Nath Srivastava’Dwarkesh’ This is a bouquet of emotional spontaneity,fragrant with heart felt purity.He has composed his autobiography in a long poem, an epic to be precise. Born at Pratapgarh.U.P.;as the second son of Late Vishnu Swaroop and Late Smt.Hari Devi, who lovingly used to call him’ Deputy’; He had a happy childhood and had good rapport with his elder brother Late Bishambhar Nath Srivastava ‘Mister’.

He passed Matriculation and Intermediate examinations from Pratapgarh and then moved to nearby Allahabad University for further studies, and obtained Graduation and Post Graduation Degrees from there;and also passed Bachelor of Law (L.L.B.)

He had always been an outstanding student and secured first class throughout.

He began his career as an auditor in A.G.U.P. Allahabad then went on working as an U.D.A.in U.P.. Secretariat Lucknow and then joined Transport Department as P.T.S.Later he was promoted to the post of P.T.O.and became senior most in his cadre.
He was a very loving and caring human being ,deeply attached with his mother.A thorough gentleman and committed family person .Very humble and polite, a man of few words that too genteel and soft .
Some how he never felt comfortable in service as his aptitude towards literary and academic streams made him a man of finer sensibilities which when clashed with the gross injustices done to his innocence and easy going nature by the crude ,insensitive and exploitative patterns of government jobs . He felt hurt when his rightful genuine positions were denied to him by crafty and wicked people of his department .He found solace in writing poems and doing paintings,He penned some fabulous couplets and also bhajans .He was a simple man with inqusitive passion for knowledge.He was fond of Urdu,English and Hindi.He loved reading and writing,writing essays and stories and a passion for General Knowledge enriched his vision of life.His favourite singers were Kishore Kumar,Hemant Kumar,Talat Mehmood and Mukesh whose songs he used to enjoy and sing .His passion for European History and Urdu Shayeri,and also Tennis and Cricket in which he loved G.R.Vishwanath,Sunil Gavaskar,K Srikanth and Kapil Dev .A staunch movie buff,he loved movies and music particularly he adored acting of Ashok Kumar,Pradeep Kumar,Uttam Kumar,Sanjeev Kumar,Sunil Dutt and Amitabh .

A lover of Urdu and English languages,he composed excellent songs,bhajans and poems.A talented singer and keen improviser,he had always been.He had a flair for photography and always remained a man of good taste with aesthetic sense.He always remained a well dressed person with style.He loved wearing Charagh Din(C.D.)brand of shirts.He was stylish and always dressed meticulously.
This is his autobiography and a collection of some other works which he wrote to express his affection and love to people who mattered to him . His wife Bela whom he used to call "Shakti",his six children,Anand,Kaivalya,Aparna,Shilpi,Milind and Ekta;close friends and some other persons who offered a helping hand to him in his turbulent times,all have been mentioned with nostalgic feelings. He wanted to show his gratitude towards his well wishers,who stood with him during his most testing times.He was an admirer of human virtues and noble heart.In his course of life,he lived in different cities,so these writings were composed in various towns and at various times.Pratapgarh,Lucknow,Varanasi,Ayodhya,Allahabad,Rai Bareli,Banda,Gorakhpur,Kanpur,Sitapur and Jhansi,he wrote and also painted his paintings in some of these places.A strong undercurrent of emotions coupled with heartfelt observations of life and people around him makes this account true and soaked in his love for family and friends .
He belonged to the club of intellectual aristocracy and by temperament ,he was ,an observer,a collector of human curiosities .

A Letter To My Children

My Dear Children,

This is my hopeful desire that you all will make head ways

in your lives in your own ways.You are all sincere and responsible,dutiful and purposeful.My children, I know, I have no flags to leave for you to fly after me,but Providence will carve out suitable avenues for you to tread and reach the pinnacle of success and glory as would be anyone’s wish for you.For my part ,I feel you can easily move on and on; ultimately to shine on the horizon of life.You have the acumen which millions do not have.You can have miracles wrought much to the amazement of many around you .My children,you do not bother,do not falter,do not hesitate.Instead have confidence in yourselves.You are my offsprings,the prodigy of a man who has lived life in his own way without bothering for any one around.
I know,I have never been so sincere, or for that matter,so genuinely aspiring for any remarkable achievement in life;although I kept always dreaming to achieve something miraculous and spectacular,yet my dearest ones, I can assure you, I have been just very sensitive about that;but lethargy has been my weakest point.It led me in course of years,to a station which is most unsuited to my personality and my tastes.
My dear children,you are my most coveted treasure to bank upon.Your mother (my dearest spouse),is very bold,active and courageous lady whom I must think,you must be proud of because such ladies or mothers are really very rare to locate.
She is my dearest and costliest possession.I am proud of her.By and large she has developed the capability of holding the part together under any circumstances, whatever.I therefore in perfect humility call upon you all to stand by her and act upon her counsels which alone would serve you as a master guide on your path to success.
I have done what ,that I could for you,may be it is not upto the mark according to my own estimation, but looking the other way round,it is certainly an achievement considering the position which I sprang up from.My beloved parents had a very ordinary beginning in indeed;but they had been very caring,particularly my respected Babujee.I feel,I knew his mind,realized what he felt and what he wished to get in life.He had been a simple man of a God approaching nature, miles away from the crafty ways of the society of his times.He has been an ideal for me to follow. And as for my beloved mother, I have no words to describe her. Her sense of dutifulness and of service to all that had a time to reach for her blessings were really a unique experience to us. Even during her hours of illness, she attended to her duties without any feelings of hesitation or distress. It was she who gave us the quality to love others, inspite of any personal preoccupations. She was such an ideal for us that the life of which I have yet to come by.

I know this is my first time that I have been made to stay away from you all but I always feel,you are with me, and I am with you.
My children,your progress in life is my only dream and I know you will not betray me.I have always had the dream that you will achieve in life,what I wished to but could not get. Agreed,I was not very sincere about it but I had the desire and the ability to achieve it. I am sure about it .But you , I hope,I have given everything out at stake, everything needed everything required for making a head way and a solid start. Now, therefore my children, it has come upon you as a sacred duty to achieve what your father just somehow failed to do.
If I just peep into a period of my 50 years of life so far,I get only faltered, because of my lethargy and not for anything else. There was sincerity all right, but no determination, no perseverance, no convictions, no confidence and of course no coaxing at all. I could have made any grade given of course, the most needed direction. I blame; but only myself for, I could have done it with a little more effort. So ,my kids, I call upon you, I exhort you to come up and to do some thing which adds to the name of that one man, that father of mine, that Babu Vishnu Swarup, who had all the dreams in his eyes, but who could not eventually visualize what he intended to fulfill or for that matter, what I, for myself ever aspired to achieve.
My dear children, my sons and daughters, you owe me a grave responsibility, a very heavy one to bear, you have to accomplish what I failed to do despite my aspirations to do so.
My children, you all have the acumen to make any new stride in life, or to reach a milestone of note.
Although, i know I shall not leave any thing extraordinary for you to bank upon ,but my dear children, I shall certainly bequeath for you a legacy of lofty ideas and of unbiased sacred values. And upon that you can build up your edifice as high as you wish to do.
My philosophy in life has been to avoid confrontation although that way ,I had sometimes to deal with situations ,In which it was not very safe or solid,but I always found myself wanting as far as the tact to manipulate matters to achieve success was concerned. On that account my heart aches with repentence but to no avail. I can not now at this stage, make any amends to what I have already done. But I can assure you ,all that I have been able to achieve so far despite my fragility,is all due to your Mummy’s courage and boldness, her sagacity and wisdom, her tact and approach. There can not be any two opinions about her unique qualities. She is a gem among women, a remarkably unique being. She has been an asset in my life. Without her , all that you find, would never have been at all .
She is so nice to me even though I deserve nothing at all. Nothing to hide.
I wished so many things to achieve but something was lacking in me, and that something is so obvious to all by now. Lack of determination, lack of conviction, lack of self confidence. And all this combined together , marred my career, or else ,I would have given you all a present and also a future which would have been a matter of envy to all that matter.

This letter was written by my father Late Dwarika Nath Srivastava'Dwarkesh'.It was written during his posting as P.T.O.Jhansi,where he was made to stay alone as the family had been settled at Allahabad.He was an emotional and sensitive person,who felt deeply hurt by being away from family.He was a family man so felt very lonely and this letter is just a testimony of his concern towards his children. I wanted to share it with my friends.It is an emotional letter which inspires the children to rise,shine and glorify in life.It is a moral booster to carve out a niche for ourselves in times to come.

An Ode To My Mother

" So long as moon and sun shine ,
stars glitter and waters flow ,
and nature does her music play ,
her beauteous forms smile and grow .
So long as birds their sonnet sing ,
and winds in all directions blow ,
their lyrical lore they hum and ring ,
across the hills so high and low .
Till then your noble soul would say ,
your message of peace and virtue prime ,
of human kindness ,truth fulness ,
of austerity and bliss sublime .
You have left us exalted with ,
values so sacred ,lofty ,great ,
your piety and your godliness ,

your glory no one could truncate .
Your heart as ocean full of love ,
with sense of service overflew ,
your elegance and magnamity ,
would lead us kindly light through .
O,Ma ,O,My great mother ,
be kind to us and merciful ,
bestow unflinching will power ,
solid conviction firm courage ,
endurance and perseverence .
O,Ma , guide and lead us through ,
this voyage murky, cumbersome ,
for years to come ,for years to come . "

This ode had been written by my father Late Dwarika Nath Srivastava"Dwarkesh',in fond memory of My grand mother Late Hari Devi.It is an emotional tribute to her.I wanted to share it with my friends.

The Song I Sing

I sing a song,

a song that tampers

far too long.

I sing of God,

His wonders prime.

His Godliness,

His bliss sublime.

I sing of Nature’s

Countless forms,

Pristine beauty;

Myriad charms.

Of sun and moon

Of stars I sing,

Of waters too,That sweet so ring.

Their lilting note,

Play birds around.

Enchanting all,

With animating sound.

I sing of love,

That man so bound;

And barrierless

Went all around.

I sing of man,

His heart and soul.

And on this earth

His mystique role.

How once his glory,

Shone in glue;

Unmoved,undaunted

Ages through.

And gone is he

So off his may ,

With every night,

And every day.

That having lost

His base, he hangs,

In disbalance,

And pain he pangs.

In between earth,

So down below,

And heavens up

That lofty so.

With science and wisdom,

Wealth and brain.

But wishful thinking,

Lost in vain.

He totters wingless,

Bidding to sail,

With failing nerves,

And powers pale.

But man has faltered,

Of his tune,

Finding himself

So immune.

He lost his virtue,

And his grace.

That flew so rapid,

Of his face.

He reals in vice.

And dwells in sin.

Yet race of life;

He hopes to Win.

This song had been

written by my father

Late Dwarika Nath Srivastava

"Dwarkesh."

This song celebrates

the spirit of life.It

provides inspiration

and solace.A noble

insight to make life

more meaningful.I

wanted to share it

with my friends.